Dale Carnegie Training of the Bay Area

(Originally published in Filipinas Magazine June 2007 Issue)

On June 1^st, my nephew Derrick will be one of the estimated 2.7 million students graduating from high school in the U.S. He has decided to venture out of his small hometown of Salisbury (affectionately dubbed “Smallsbury” by its residents) to pursue his college degree, in sunny California.

In the Fall, he will be starting at Academy of Art University, and in about four more years, joining the rest of us in the “real world.” If there’s one piece of advice I could give him now, along with the rest of the HS class of 2007, it would be this: the most valuable lesson you’ll need to become successful will NOT be part of your college curriculum.

Back in 1984, Mark McCormack, founder of International Management Group (IMG) and touted by Sports Illustrated Magazine as “The Most Powerful Man in Sport”, authored What they don’t teach at Harvard Business School. McCormack himself is well-educated - a graduate of Yale Law School - as well as a frequent lecturer at Stanford and Duke. But he is the first to admit that “what they don’t teach you [in business school] is what they can’t teach you.”

Without a doubt, education and training contribute to one’s success. But raw knowledge is useless unless put to practical use. McCormack calls it street smarts, “the ability to make active positive use of your instincts, insights and perceptions.” Some refer to it as “soft skills,” a nebulous set of attributes that you either have or you don’t. Period.

I dub it the X Factor, an amalgam of positive attitude, people skills, and extraordinary flexibility.

Don’t Ever Tell Me You Can’t

When Celia Ruiz-Tomlinson moved to the U.S. in 1968, she had $300 in her pocket and a degree in Civil Engineering from Mapua Institute of Technology in Manila. Although she grew up in impoverished conditions, living in a 10×10 fish market stall that doubled as the family’s home, she managed to rise from abject poverty, overcoming one roadblock after another in pursuit of her dream. She is now President and CEO of Rhombus, PA, a successful civil engineering consulting firm in New Mexico. In 2002, she received the Asian Women in Business Entrepreneurial Leadership National Award, and in 2004, was recognized for her entrepreneurial acumen at the Filipinas Magazine Achievement Awards. She wrote a book about her exploits, aptly entitled Don’t Ever Tell Me You Can’t.

Positive attitude – the belief that no matter what, things can be done – is so critical that it is the first item on the checklist for AirForce Survival Training and Military Bootcamp. Laurence Gonzales, author of Deep Survival and contributing editor for National Geographic, says that in a crisis situation, Positive Mental Attitude (PMA) is the biggest determining factor for who survives and who dies. Perhaps Mahatma Gandhi put it best. He says that, “If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it, even if I did not have the ability in the beginning.”

Win Friends and Influence People

There’s an often quoted story of a young woman who dined with William Gladstone one evening, and with Benjamin Disraeli the next. They were prominent British statesmen of the 19th century, both serving as Prime Ministers at one point. They were also bitter rivals. Asked her impression of these two powerful men, the young woman replied, “After sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.”

Personal magnetism, it seems, has more to do with being genuinely interested in other people rather than being “interesting.” Dale Carnegie, who wrote the grandfather of all people-skills book, How to Win Friends and Influence People, says that to succeed in life, you have to “Try honestly to see things from the other person’s point of view.” First published in 1937, Dale Carnegie’s flagship book continues to rank in the New York Times Best-Selling Business Books of all time. Carnegie says that success is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to people skills. His training organization, founded in 1912, has a 12-week program revolving around 30 principles that focus on how to become a friendlier person, win people to your way of thinking, and be a leader.

Dance with the Winds of Change

The Bible tells the Parable of the Reed and the Oak. The Mighty Oak Tree, with its deep roots and firm standing, refused to dance with the wind, while the Lowly Reed bent this way and that, even with the slightest of breeze. Ultimately, the Oak Tree was toppled in a storm because of its refusal to compromise,

Even IBM has found flexibility to be the key to success, especially in the rapidly changing automotive industry. Responsiveness to change and adaptability to evolving situations allows big automotive companies and small mom-and-pop businesses survive and succeed – to dance with the winds of change. As Elbert Hubbard says, “The world is moving so fast these days that the man who says it can’t be done is generally interrupted by someone doing it.”

So, to my nephew and the rest of the Class of 2007 – Good luck. And here’s to finding your own brand of X.

Many times customer service is reactive. It is important to build on existing relationships with customers and clients before there are issues.  Here are a few suggestions in taking the more proactive approach to servicing existing customers.

·       Promote additional programs.  Initiate further incentives that will enhance the sale. This can increase add-ons and cross-selling opportunities, giving the customers a value-added experience. 

·       Create a message.   Having a consistent company message ensures customers that from purchase to usage your company supports them.  Coach sales team to stay on this message.

·       Follow-up on sale or service. A simple phone call or follow-up letter can go a long way; people appreciate the time you spend on fostering the partnership and make the odds of repeat business very likely.  If there are issues, it will be easier to right the situation because they did not have to make the effort in contacting you.

·        Be prepared. This includes knowing what is expected, professionally handling what you didn’t expect, going the extra mile, and acting as customer advocate.  

Most salespeople have had this experience: you convinced a customer that your solution would logically exceed their expectations, but that individual was still not motivated to make a decision! Especially in today’s uncertain market, many companies are delaying their purchase decisions even further. You can help your customer move forward with the decision. Use a Value Summary to summarize the value of your solution, create a sense of urgency, and overcome customer procrastination. How do you create a Value Summary?

When customers procrastinate their purchase decisions, even after you have successfully resolved all objections, use a Value Summary to restate the value of your solution, create a sense of urgency, and overcome delayed decisions.

Building a Value Summary

Remind yourself of what your buyers want (primary interest) and why they want it (dominant buying motive), then do these three things:

1. Remind your buyers that they are currently missing out on the benefit your solution can provide and get their agreement. Describe how your solution appeals to their dominant buying motive.
2. Remind your buyers that your solution will satisfy that need.
3. Paint a “word picture” of your buyers using your solution, enjoying it, and benefiting from it.

Guidelines for Value Summaries

• Be clear and concise
• Describe in the present tense
• Link your solution directly to the buyer’s dominant buying motive
• Be believable and realistic
• Show examples of the buyer benefiting from your solution
• Appeal to the buyer’s senses - sight, sound, touch, taste, and smell

Asking for Commitment

After you have presented your Value Summary, be ready to ask for a commitment - the “close.” Consider the following methods:

Direction Question:

Often the best way to gain a buyer’s commitment is to ask for it. Ask a direct question that calls for a decision.

“Are you ready to go ahead with this decision?”

Alternate Choice Method:

Ask the buyer to select one of two options.

“Would you like the K80 with the standard stock, or would you prefer to choose from our specialty line?”

Minor Point Method:

Ask the buyer to make a minor decision that indicates that the larger buying decision has already been made.
“In whose name should this title be drawn?”

Next Step Method:

Assume that the buyer has already committed and look ahead to the next step.

“When would you like for me to schedule the installation?”

Opportunity Method:

Present the buyer with a brief window of opportunity when options are available. This can be an effective method to use with a buyer who is ready to buy, but who is procrastinating the final decision.

“You know that our prices increase on September 1st. I know that you’d want to take advantage of these lower prices now, right?”

Weighing Method:

If the buyer still has second thoughts about making the purchase, show him or her how the return on investment outweighs the cost.

“Let’s do what many people do when making a major decision. Let’s weigh the ideas causing you to hesitate and the value you’ll realize from going ahead.”

“If only I had a stronger team!”  There are few leaders who have not thought this at one time or another.  Yet, successful leaders seem to develop strong teams wherever they go, whatever task the team is assigned.  The key factors in leading strong teams are:  

Establish continuous improvement by building on the characteristics of strong teams.  Key characteristics of strong teams are:

·         Cooperation:  In a strong team, individuals rely on each other to make processes and interactions function as planned.  Strong teams root out uncooperative members and either replace them with people who will move the team process forward, or coach them to more cooperative behavior.

·         Mutual Respect:  In a strong team, individuals avoid arrogance, condescension, and criticism.  Successful teamwork is achieved as a result of respecting the talents, opinions, and efforts of teammates.

·         Democratic:  In a strong team, every team member’s voice Is heard.  Each member of the team has a right to question the process, add input, and evaluate the progress of the team.

Capitalize on individual strengths to take teams to higher levels of performance.   In a strong team, the leader knows how to capitalize on each member’s individual strengths.  Not everyone on the team has to be a great people person, but some have to be.  Not everyone has to be meticulous, but certain members of the team must be.  To capitalize on individual strengths, we must be able to:

·         Recognize strengths:  Many leaders have a hard time seeing the strengths in their team members.  In a business climate where appreciation is often in short supply, many of us get out of the habit of looking for the strengths in others.  It takes a change in our mindset to start seeing individuals in terms of what we admire and appreciate in them.

·         Combine strengths to make a team:  Combining strengths in a strong team is a little bit like combining ingredients in a great recipe.  Just dumping the ingredients into a pan doesn’t make a great dish, no matter how excellent each individual ingredient may be.  It isn’t unusual to see talented, capable individuals who under-perform as a team.

·         Focus on strengths, not weaknesses:  Dale Carnegie tells a story about a man in one of his programs who was asked by his wife to list six things that he would like to change about her.  The participant recounted that he told his wife he would have to think about it and give her an answer in the morning.  He realized that it would be easy to list six things but rather than doing that, he called the florist and ordered six red roses.  He had them delivered to his wife with a note that said he couldn’t think of six things to change about her; he loved her just the way she was.  You can imagine the positive reaction that he received.  It was then, he stated that he realized the power of appreciation.   Do you show enough appreciation for the strengths of your team members, or do you stay focused only on their weaknesses? 

Facilitate the interaction of diverse personalities on strong teams.  Even well-meaning leaders are sometimes guilty of wanting their team members to do things the way they do them, or act the way they act.  Working in a team with diverse personalities requires flexibility, patience, and open-mindedness.  As you embrace your differences, you enable your team to reach its fullest potential.

·         Celebrate diversity:  If you stop and think about it, most of us would be bored by having to work with a team whose members all had the same personalities.  Team interaction is much more stimulating and interesting when the team has a variety of personal styles and characteristics.  When you celebrate your differences, you acknowledge that all of us are enriched by our opportunity to work together.

·         Open lines of communication:  There is a tendency for team members to avoid those on the team who are much different in temperament, and to form informal alliances with those who feel similar.  If allowed to go on indefinitely, these team sub-groupings become cliques with insiders and outsiders, and the lines of communication within the team are blocked.

·         Building bridges, not walls:  Leaders of strong teams learn to facilitate connections between diverse styles on their team.  You look for ways to make it easier for team members to form alliances, increase mutual understanding, and break down perceived barriers in the way you approach your work.

·         Manage results, not tasks:  Ultimately, what matters is each team member’s contribution to the team’s goals and mission.  Leaders who are adept at facilitating strong teams with diverse personalities have learned to focus on the results each team member achieves, rather than trying to make them achieve the results in a certain way.  This allows the individuals to express their personalities through their work, and still contribute significantly to the team effort. 

Leverage competitive spirit to gain cooperation.  Friendly competition generates results.  Leaders of strong teams keep the competition between the team and its own past results, not between individual team members.  Make competition exciting.  Who would you rather have working at your side, a competitive spirit or one who is easily satisfied with mediocre results?

It doesn’t matter what our career is, sooner or later we’re going to be responsible for giving presentations.  If we are moving up the ladder in our professions, at some point we’ll be managing a team, giving project updates, speaking before a management meeting, training clients or colleagues, or giving any number of other business presentations.

As business professionals, we typically spend the first years of our career as a team member performing tasks.  As a result, we often get little or no experience giving presentations early in our professions.  Then, upon receiving a promotion or being given a wider range of responsibility, we may transition abruptly into giving presentations on a monthly, weekly, or even daily basis.  By planning thoroughly and thoughtfully, we can take much of the anxiety out of giving business presentations and have a powerful impact on our listeners.

In order to plan an effective presentation, you must first address:

               Who is the audience?

               What is the purpose?

               What is the message?

Who is the Audience?

It is difficult to satisfy the unknown expectations of an audience, as it is to hit an unseen target.  It can be done, but it is a chancy way to seek success.  Part of the process of preparation is the resear4ch that gathers the following information about the audience.

Knowledge:  An obvious consideration about the knowledge level of the audience that concerns most presenters:  “Is the audience better informed than I am?”  This is a lesser serious concern because the concern itself will stimulate adequate preparation.  Therefore, the greater problem is the danger of over-estimating the knowledge level of the audience.  Never face an audience unprepared, but also never fall into the trap of assuming listener ignorance and talking down to the audience.

Expertise:  The skill level of the audience is also important because that may determine the position on the issue that we want to take.

Experience:  This consideration is not only how much experience the audience has but at what level and in what environment.  Experience in a laboratory is significantly different from experience in the field.

Bias:  If we can identify the biases of the audience, we can ascertain where they are starting from and some of the pitfalls we will need to avoid.

What is the Purpose?

There are only a few purposes for a presentation.  Following are the most accepted ones.

Inform:  One logical purpose for communicating is to present information for the enlightenment of our listeners.  This format focuses on clarity and understanding.  It defines the “here’s what it is” or “here’s how you do it.”

Convince or Impress:  A speaker often has the job of convincing or impressing others of the importance of something.  I need to be impressed with the value or importance of something before I will ever be convinced to do anything differently than I am doing right now.

Persuade to Action:  Once convinced that something is true or it has value, I may be persuaded to take a specific action.  Convincing usually precedes persuading.  As a leader today it is important to be effective in motivating others to take action.

Entertain:  In one sense, every presentation should entertain.  For the audience to be in a favorable frame of mind and open to being convinced, enlightened, or motivated, they need to be entertained.  Entertainment is not necessarily based on humor, although that can be a big part of it.  In the broadest sense, to entertain an audience is to make them glad they were there and glad that we were the presenters.

What is the Message?

It hardly seems necessary to address the importance of having a message, but unfortunately sometimes presentations have no message or at least no easily discovered message.  They are either scheduled to fill time or there are so many messages woven into the presentation that it is impossible to identify anything significant.  Know what the message is and keep it in mind throughout the preparation so that the presentation stays on track.

It takes time and practice to improve your interpersonal skills. Many of the skills may take time for you to adopt; however, there are also some quick techniques that you can use to start to make things easier almost immediately.

Stay professional.
Be at your best in every situation. Remember that the way you act reflects on your character. Learn to deal with situations in an appropriate way.

Establish credibility.
Be sincere. If you are truthful and upfront with people, it will go a long way to gaining another person’s respect and trust.

Understand others’ point of view.
Remember to reflect on what others tell you. Even if you disagree, take the time to learn and understand another person’s perspective.

Learn about others.
Take time to talk with employees or clients. Conversations do not need to be work related. Sometimes simple conversations can help you learn about the person and build rapport.

Be confident.
Keep eye contact and a relaxed body posture. Be sure to speak clearly and at a moderate pace.

Twelve Tips to All-Win Negotiations

Negotiating is the process of attempting to agree on a solution. Compromising, or settling on a mutually agreeable solution, is the result of successful negotiations. Compromise is all about being flexible. It means being able to generate alternate solutions when you’ve “hit the wall.” Whether it involves a person you can’t get along with, an idea you know will work but that others are reluctant to embrace, a change in office systems, or a turf war that needs ending, learning to negotiate and compromise is essential to your success. <read more>

1) Have a positive attitude.
Your attitude is essential to the outcome. You improve your chance of achieving a mutually rewarding solution if you approach the negotiation as an opportunity to learn and achieve an all-win outcome.

2) Meet on mutual ground.
Find a mutually agreeable and convenient physical space to meet that is comfortable for all involved. Agree on when you will meet and how much time is available to devote to the process. Whenever possible, deal with negotiations face-to-face. Be careful about negotiating over the phone or in e-mail. A lack of facial expressions, vocal intonation, and other cues can result in a negotiation breakdown.

3) Clearly define and agree on the issue.
Agree on a statement of the issue using simple and factual terms. If the situation is multifaceted, search for ways to slice the large issue into smaller pieces and deal with one issue at a time.

4) Do your homework.
Take time to plan. You must not only know what is at stake for yourself, but you need to know the other side’s concerns and motivation. Take into consideration any history or past situations that might affect the negotiations. Know the must-haves (non-negotiable items) and nice-to-haves (negotiable items). Determine the best resolution, a fair and reasonable compromise, and a minimally acceptable deal.

5) Take an honest inventory of yourself.
Determine your level of trust in the other person and the process. Be conscious of aspects of your personality that can help or hinder the process.

6) Look for shared interests.
Get on the same side by finding and establishing similarities. Since conflict tends to magnify perceived differences and minimize similarities, look for common goals, objectives, or even gripes that can illustrate that you are in this together. Focus on the future, talk about what needs to be done, and tackle the problem jointly.

7) Deal with facts, not emotions.
Address problems, not personalities. Avoid any tendency to attack the other person or to pass judgment on his or her ideas and opinions. Avoid focusing on the past or blaming the other person. Maintain a rational, goal-oriented frame of mind. This will depersonalize the conflict, separate the issues from the people involved, and avoid defensiveness.

Be honest.
Don’t play games. Be honest and clear about what is important to you and communicate why your goals, issues, and objectives are important to you.

9) Present alternatives and provide evidence.
Create options and alternatives that demonstrate willingness to compromise. Consider conceding in areas that might have high value to the other person but are not that important to you. Frame options in terms of the other person’s interests and provide evidence for your point of view.

10) Be an expert communicator.
Nothing shows determination to find a mutually satisfactory resolution to conflict more than applying excellent communication skills. Ask questions, listen, rephrase what you heard to check for understanding, and take a genuine interest in the other side’s concerns. Reduce tension through humor, let others vent their concerns, and acknowledge their views. Focus less on your position and more on ways in which you can move toward a resolution or compromise.

11) End on a good note.
Make an all-win proposal and check to make sure that everyone involved leaves the situation feeling they have won. Shake on it and agree on the action steps: who is responsible for each step, how success will be measured, and how and when the decision will be evaluated. Be open to accepting an impasse for noncritical issues; agree to disagree.

12) Enjoy the process.
Look at the benefits of learning other people’s point of view. People report that after overcoming conflict and reaching an agreement, the relationship grew even stronger. Reflect and learn from each negotiation. Determine the criteria to evaluate the process and the solution.

www.sanfrancisco.dalecarnegie.com